Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
