dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
