we have officially mastered the walk of shame
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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