dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
