i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
