I wish i was in the wii world.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
