My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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