Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
