I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
