Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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