I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
