you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize