I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
