end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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