So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he was CRYING into my vagina
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
