Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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