just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry my hands just texted you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
