everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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