Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Congratulations! We have a period
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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