I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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