problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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