never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
