Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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