He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
