he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
