I wish I could teleport
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize