I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
