At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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