This is not my ceiling
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
