ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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