where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
