Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
