So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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