So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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