You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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