and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
