I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
