His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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