I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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