Can Purell be used as lube?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Farmville is her only friend.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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