I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
