She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
