put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
