they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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