HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
