i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
