i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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