i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
