i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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