you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
