College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
as a side note pls kill me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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