i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
