We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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