I met the friendliest cop last night
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
