Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
