the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
