She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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