he thought i was a dude.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
