i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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