it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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