Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
