yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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