Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
operation harelip BJ is a go
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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