Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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