i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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